Grief's Journey: Resources & Hope

Sidenote:

I originally wrote this as an email, but then I told myself not to send it. Who wants to keep hearing about the sad topic of grief and loss? Who wants to keep hearing about my sad story of losing my dog Bacci?

What does this have to do with those looking for canine fitness or business tips from me?

But then I thought about how grief and loss take on different forms. I grieved when I had to retire Bacci due to health reasons. I grieved the future that I imagined we’d have as French Ring competitors. I grieved when I gave up the sport I loved. I grieved when I went through a divorce.

And of course… I’m now grieving the loss of my heart dog Bacci. We can’t avoid it. We all experience grief and loss at various points in our lives.

I decided to go ahead and share this. If it helps just one other person better deal with the pain and heartbreak that comes with loss, then it was worth sharing…

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Here's what I originally wrote..

Hope you had an amazing weekend, and your weeks is now off to a great start!

I’ve been a bit quiet on social media and not sending out many emails since losing Bacci in September. Although I’ve been fairly quiet, it doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about you.

When going on my runs, hiking in Acadia National Park, and taking walks with Knoxx, I’ve had a number of topics come to mind and things I wanted to share with you. It was just hard to sit down and get them written.

We all deal with grief and loss at some point in our lives. Some experience it many, many times.

Loss of a pet, our heart dog, a beloved friend, a family member, a significant other…

We grieve for a life we used to have… or the life we wanted…

I have found that better understanding grief and loss helps me get through it. I don’t think it makes it easier, but I do find it helps.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve watched two videos and listened to a podcast that have been really helpful. I wanted to share them with you.

Whether you’ve dealt with loss in the past, are dealing with it now, or will be hit with it in the future, I just wanted to let you know about these resources in case they help you like they’ve helped me. I’ll share them in the order that I watched or listened to them. I’ll also share just a few of my own take-aways that really struck me after watching/listening to them.

A Grief Discussion with Deborah Jones, PhD (Part 1)

The is a podcast published by K9 Detection Collaborative. I found it fascinating hearing how grief impacts our brain and how our neuropathways influence how we comprehend, feel, and understand our loss. This podcast helped me understand what’s happening in our brains when we keep looking and expecting to see our loved ones. It helped me understand why it physically hurts so badly when they are no longer with us. As we work through the challenging emotions that come with grief and loss, we need to allow our brains time to make new connections… make new neuropathways… in order to ease the pain.

LISTEN NOW

How to Recover After Losing Your Dog – Episode 65

This is a YouTube video by Robert Cabral. This video helped me better understand how people can respond to grief in so many different ways. It helped me better understand why some people might want to completely isolate themselves from their loved ones when experiencing grief. Sometimes the best way to support someone is to simply be patient, give them the space and time that they need, and let them know you’re there for them when they are ready. Robert helped me understand and accept that when a loved one pulls away from me during their own grieving process, it’s not a reflection of how much they do or don’t care about me. It’s important to have empathy, patience, and understanding when people grieve in ways that we might not understand.

WATCH NOW

The Science & Process of Healing from Grief

Just last week I stumbled upon this YouTube video by Dr. Andrew Huberman. Dr. Huberman helps us understand the biological mechanisms of grief, including how neural circuits for emotional and factual memory combine with those for love and attachment, to create feelings of absence and yearning. I was fascinated with the discussion on how grief is physiologically distinct and different from depression, even though they can feel so similar. Dr. Huberman helps us understand the differences between complicated grief, non-complicated grief, and prolonged grief disorder. If you want to better understand why some people can stay stuck in deep grieving so much longer than others, you’ll want to listen to this podcast. Dr. Huberman also offers science-based tools and strategies to better cope with grief when it happens.

WATCH NOW

Finally, I want to acknowledge the power of turning to loved ones or seeking out professionals to help us better understand and manage all the complicated emotions and feelings that come with grief and loss. Whether it’s turning to those who love you, joining an online support group, or even finding a virtual therapist, support and help can be just minutes away.

Much love,

Erica Boling

Feel free to reach out to me at [email protected]!